Fortunately, a friend of a friend did attend, which is how I get to share this highly questionable addition to the already dodgy realm of gay marketing, the Gaydar Man Tags, which were handed out on the day:
“PLAY BUTCH, SLING ON YOUR TAGS, SHOW YOUR ALLEGIANCE, JOIN GAYDAR!”
Well how could you not?
Perplexingly, along with the tags, the pack includes what appear to be two tiny cock rings.
But no! According to the back of the packaging:
“IN YOUR PACK: Identification tag chain with two dog tags and silencers. slip ‘em over the edges to stop ‘em banging, while you’re getting banged.”
Hmmm….
There are so many things wrong with this I don’t where to begin. First I suppose is the exhortation to ‘play butch’, which really does kill the mood right up front. And the forced language irritates me no end (apparently the word “them” is a little femme).
But I think what really bothers me is that they designed this tinny, clichéd accessory - the gays love to play soldiers! - that is essentially a wearable advertisement; the only ‘identification’ you could possibly squeeze on there is your cock size. Or IQ.
And of course that’s the point:
It’s the first fashion accessory (since the hankie code) specifically designed to be fucked in.
At least with hankies you got a range of colours to choose from…
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