Having been unceremoniously ejected from my former place of employment, I have had to deal with the frustrating and depressing mire of forms that is Centrelink. Originally I was applying for sickness allowances, although now I see I’ve missed the crucial 14-day period for that, so back to square one. I can apply for the dole, but that means queuing up for yet another form to fill out, laying bare my inadequacies for all the world (well, a few Centrelink staff) to see. Then there’s the small matter of proving my identity.
In order to receive Centrelink benefits I need 100 ‘points’ of personal identification. This sounds easy, you say? Not if you don’t drive (a driver’s licence is 40 points) or have a valid passport (that’s 70). I had my parents fish out my birth certificate (70) so I’m getting there, but I have to say this is wearing me down.
Dad got me a passport renewal form, itself an oddly confronting document. Once again, I have to jump through hoops (an activity I have never particularly enjoyed) to prove unequivocally that I am, indeed, me. The aforementioned absence of a driver’s licence complicates matters (I’ve never before regretted not learning how to drive) but it’s the photo that’s worrying me.
You see, I recently grew a moustache, my very first. Yes, it was a shock to me, too. I didn’t shave for a couple of weeks and realised my upper lip was capable of producing something that actually resembled a real moustache, a pretty good one, so I thought, what the hell. I still get the occasional jolt of surprise when I see myself reflected in a shop window but it’s keeping me amused during this difficult form-filling period.
It does pose a tough question though: for my new passport photo, do I shave off my moustache or leave it on? I’ve never had one before and might very well find it ridiculous in a few weeks, so is it wise to have my newfound facial hair immortalised on my Very Important Identity Proving Document? Does it make me look a little shady, like someone who might take a small container of dangerous liquids onto an international flight? Is it a little, you know, bloody stupid-looking?
And before you ask, I am not posting a pic of my mo’.
2 comments:
I had a moustache for 24 years and one morning shaved it off without warning any of my friends. Later that day I met one of my closest friends for coffee and she never noticed the difference.
My dad - who has always had a moustache - once did the same thing to mum. Same result.
cheers!
Post a Comment